Remembering Mom

             Lillian Bakker, of Visalia, Ca. passed away at the age of 83 on Sunday November 11, 2012 with her children by her side. Lillian was born Liskje Bajema to Dave & Rena Bajema in Friesland, Netherlands on May 30, 1929.  Lillian was the 3rd of 7 children, 1 brother, Klaas Bajema, (deceased) and 5 sisters, Jane Mast, Alice Van Esch, Trudy Kooiman, Julie Smith, Beatrice Bajema (deceased) and Rhea Davis.

             Lillian immigrated to America when she 7 years old with her family, and settled in Artesia, California. Lillian’s parents lived the American dream and soon became dairy farmers where Lillian would later meet Allen Bakker. Allen, also emigrating from Friesland, settled with relatives in Artesia, where he was hired by her father. They fell in love, marrying Oct. 27, 1948 when she was 19 and he was 24. They had 5 children, also started a dairy farm and moved the family to Visalia, Ca. in 1970 where they both remained until Allen’s passing in 1986.

          Allen and Lillian had a comfortable life, attending the local Christian Reformed Church, dinners out every Friday night, and short trips to Lake Tahoe, coast or Washington to see relatives. Lillian had the pleasure of being surrounded by family all her life. She lived on the family dairy farm until 2006, where her son’s and their families lived on the same road. Jim, David & Charlie would frequently visit mom for morning coffee and Rena & Annetta and the daughters in laws and grandchildren came for afternoon tea and swimming. Her home was an active place with many family gatherings for holidays and birthdays.

               Lillian developed Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) at 33 and has been gracefully handling the many symptoms from this crippling disease with multiple implants, surgeries, and any treatments available. Seven years ago, her RA created her serious problems in her neck and spine and after two surgeries left her with limited mobility. This progressed into her inability to be independent. With a couple years of in-home care, often with family members taking day and night shifts along with her caregivers. In June, 2006 she was moved to her new home at the Christian Assisted Living Facility, Magnolia Park, (formerly Chase Tree Park). As her family, we are very grateful for the love and care they gave to our mother and elderly loved ones. They treated her and our family with the dignity and respect that they deserved.

 Eulogy        

  From her children:

Mom will be remembered for her quiet demeanor, her pleasant smile, her humorous antidotes and her ability to face her trials with optimism and hope.  She had a noticeable strength to cope with life’s disappointments that, to some, seemed insensitive at times, but it was just her way. Mom didn’t demand a lot from her family, but we all wanted to give her so much. Mom was the matriarch of our family, often the reason for gathering. She didn’t care much for attention, but rather enjoyed the quieter moments within the group, and if you were lucky to sit by her could catch her little remarks, sometimes inappropriate, that would make you laugh, this was all the encouragement mom needed to keep the groove going. 

    Mom was the definition of “love” without being readily open with the words. She showed us her love through careful listening, through gentle warnings when we were young, through a soft touch of the hand and simply telling us, “You’ll be alright.” These same words were said to us children even in her last days, “I’ll be alright.”  Without speaking of her awaiting heaven, we don’t know if that’s what she meant or was it just her way of still comforting her children.      We told her how much we loved her and how great a mom she’s been to us, and her response was that simple shrug of her shoulders and a smile. She didn’t take compliments easily, but we know she loved us and she was confident in knowing that she took care of us and filled her role as wife, mother, and grandmother well. 

    Mom had a quick sense of humor and often came up with the words that we were struggling to get out. Her little bit of sarcasm was understood by us all, and we couldn’t wait to hear those ‘one-liners’ that should’ve been written down to enjoy later. Even with her restrictions, she was always ready to get out and enjoy life. We knew, from dad, that mom required a sturdy car with good passing power, because when her body ‘thawed’ out for the day and the fog lifted on Road 60,  she was ready to go:  Sunday morning church, Wednesday bible study, a lunch out with her kids, shopping with the girls, or an overnight stay to feel the coastal breeze was all that mom required to fill her void.

 We know  there will be many times that something will be said or done by one of us that will remind of us ‘Mom’, for she will live on through us. But, for now, we have comfort in the memories that she’s left behind; knowing that she found peace with her new body and we will one day see her again.

  Lillian is survived by her 5 children; daughter, Rena and husband, Jim Smith of Tulare, 3 sons; Jim Bakker of Visalia, David and wife, Arlene Bakker, of Visalia, Charlie and wife, Julie Bakker, of Visalia, daughter, Annetta and husband, Danny Stacy, of Hanford. Lillian was “Beppe” to  16 Grandchildren; Jeff Sullivan, Sean Sullivan, Carolyn Griffioen, Robyn Olson, Julie Armendariz, Jennifer Brower, Shelley Colburn, (deceased) Tami Garland, Erin Veitia, Joseph Bakker, Jolene Bakker, Andrea Lanting, Nathan Bakker, Kevin Bakker, Kristen Bonds, Lily Bakker, Grace Bakker, Kyle Stacy & Danielle Stacy. Lillian was Great-Beppe to 33 great-grandchildren.

  Lillian was preceded in death by; her parents, Dave & Rena Bajema, her devoted & loving husband, Allen Bakker, her daughter in laws, Anna Marie (Van Dyk) Bakker, and Linda (Kievet) Bakker, and her eldest granddaughter, Shelley (Bakker) Colburn.

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     Services will be held Friday, November 16, 2012 at 11:00 am, at the Visalia First Christian Reformed Church, 1030 S Linwood, Visalia, Ca. following the private burial.

    Family and friends may visit for a final viewing Thursday Nov. 15, 2012 from 4:00- 7:00 pm at the Salser & Dillard Funeral Home, 127 E Caldwell, Visalia, Ca.  If you chose in lieu of flowers the family has requested that donations be sent to Central Valley Christian School, 5600 W Tulare Ave, Visalia CA, 93277 .