Holiday Photo's Trial and Error

Well, every year we take a family photo. It seems that more than 90% of people I know and receive cards from do this, so even though our kids are pretty grown up we still give it a try.

But, this year didn't go so well. Danielle & I (the usual instigators of these traditions) found the 'ideal' spot, downtown Hanford. But, of course things didn't go as planned. I was not happy with the results, so they didn't get sent this year..... sorry, Merry Christmas(?)

Here's just one of them..... next year we hire a pro. I saw a referral on Alicia's site... I think I'll keep her in mind :)

It appears Kyle is ready to 'backhand' his dad.... he said he was just adjusting his arm :) If you know these two, they are constantly horsing around. So I'm not surprised by this photo.

Paso, Wine Country

This past week was Danny's birthday. Now, he wasn't too hot on celebrating his age, but he was ready to celebrate another project completed. He had just finished up the "Hellnback", Mohard Racing's new rear disc brake for Honda. So, Saturday morning, he said, "Pack a bag, and lets get out of here." Well, like most women, you don't need to tell me twice. Quick, before he changes his mind. Pack makeup (check), pack camera (check), pack a corkscrew (check)!

We headed West and zig zagged through Paso Robles Wine Country, stopping at a few places we never had visited: Ranchito Canyon (they need a little more time to mature, but nice people), Silver Horse, (a Favorite, where they were crushing grapes ) the last stop was Jada. They do a nice Cheese and wine pairing and we did get their "Jersey Girl."

Barrels in Ranchito Canyon

We like staying in Morro Bay, so we headed into the sunset.

Got there in time to eat a great authentic mexican dinner, I know, strange choice when we're on the beach, but we did some more drinking in the room so we had to walk to dinner.

Next morning we drove to Cambria, we have a few favorite spots there. Love the food at a simple diner, "Redwood Cafe", and strolled downtown, looking through the shops..... .....and new museum. They had a set up of a few 'famous' statues outside to humor us. Dan & Willie

Danny loves this one Glass shop, they have some beautiful artists' works, and one makes a glass putter...... go figure:)

Then back home through Wine country again, this time I just drank so he could drive. We were after some good Sirah's.... so we hit Jack Creek, where she had 4 on the taste menu. Then on to Hearthstone, where I bought a T-shirt...... what does that tell you. Last stop, just before closing, Opolo.... We gotta spend more time here next time! Great wines....nice tasting room and good service.

Interesting drive back through the windy roads, we saw at least 20 young deer and a couple road runners.... pretty cool.

Just one thing missing...... reservations for next time.

Accident, Again.....

Well, we spent our weekend in the ERs. First our local ER, then Fresno's ER. It's just an hour North, but they wanted us to seek better care. If you're apart of our kid's texting network, then you've got the scoop minute by minute. But, for those of you not in that loop here's what happened: Danny and Kyle were working in our shop, moving a large piece of 1" metal on the plasma table. It was afternoon Sat. about 100* plus in the shop, and the metal needed to be shifted. The metal got away from the guys, coming down on Kyle's hands as he pulled away quickly his right index finger got caught underneath. He's not sure how the metal gave way to his finger, he thinks it may have 'hopped' before it landed again. But, the damage was done: it cut through Kyle's glove; breaking and severing his finger just between the lower two knuckles. Now, if you don't know what a plasma table is, the table has metal runners about 1/4" thick, so the effect of the metal on top is like a guillotine to the finger when the metal came down on it...... uuugghhhh! So, Danny hurried him to our ER, calling me on the way, and Danielle & I met up with them. They pulled and tugged on his sore finger for x-rays and cleaning of the wound. Kyle's finger was just hanging on by about 10% of the skin. But, he had feeling in the tip of it, so they knew that the nerve was still intact. The local on-call surgeon and orthopedist wanted him to be seen by a hand specialist. So, we drove him to Fresno and had to go through the entire ER experience again. Kyle was given Morphine in Hanford's ER, which as most of you know makes a person a little edgy..... so, Danny had to stand with him outside, as all the 'sick' people and other ER visitors were taking up room. And Kyle, normally more tolerant wanted to "tell them off." But, soon we were seen and he had a cute nurse to care for him and give him Vicodin. Hours later the Hand Specialist from Plastic Surgery saw him. They admitted him around 4am planning to place a pin through his finger. In the meanwhile Danny's catching a few winks in the car, and I'm trying to sleep in a chair, then on the floor with my make-shift bed. At 9:30 they took him to pre-op, with the final decision being to stich up his finger and place a splint on him: keeping his fingers from bending. I think Hanford's ER could've done THAT! But, hey we just hope it's good enough. We were on our home by 1:00 which they told us was a short ER visit.... less than 24 hours was a good record for them. Apparently they wanted to get rid of us :) little tip for you all. "make them want to get rid of you" on your next ER visit. He's in good spirits, and yesterday spent most of the evening sleeping and catching up on all his missed calls/texts. It was great to have the support we had from our family and friends. Danny's nephew and sister came to lend some support in the Fresno's ER parking lot and our friends kept checking in on us..... thanks guys :) We have photos........... but, we'll spare you the gore. Maybe we'll send them out for Halloween. :) just kidding.

"Soundtrack of My Life"

I stumbled onto this English assignment that Danielle wrote. I hesitated to put it on my blog, for fear of embarrassing her if she ever found out that I shared it. But, then after reading through my nieces embarrassing stories about her girls, I thought, "it's fine" just because they're 3 and she's 17 what's the difference?!?!!

right....

keep in mind it's her rough draft, but as parents, it touched our hearts.

"Microphone, headphones, guitars, drums.....chaos; the soundtrack of my life. The soundtrack I've learned to love. Music is a huge part of my life, I've been surrounded by it ever since I can remember. With a music obsessed-ex-band member Dad, a church singing-piano playing mother, and with a recording studio in my backyard, I had opportunity waiting a few steps out my back door, but no nerve to take the shot. I always felt this unspoken pressure to perform, to take on music like the rest of my family, and to be the best. Growing up I never even attempted to express myself through music, for the fear of not being impressive enough. Still, I wanted to know the feeling of finishing a song, laying down a track, of just being comforted by my nail beds dragging across the strings of a guitar. Music; I saw it, heard it, I had learned it, but I wanted to feel.

I saw it; guitars hanging on the wall, the piano in my living room, the endless rows of buttons on the soundboard, but not a clue what to do with any of it. I saw my father playing his guitar on his chair in the living room, eyes close, head down. I remember wishing I could be like that. I saw my mother sit on the bench playing boring hymns, but she loved it just the same. I saw my brother dripping of sweat while pounding away on the drums. I saw my small fragile fingers struggle to stretch across the keys of a piano, but the calculated specks of black ink on wrinkle coffee stained paper, just didn't impress me. I wanted more, I wanted to find my getaway, I wanted freedom. I saw my acoustic guitar collecting dust as it hung on my wall, and decided to give it a shot.

I heard it; the "nail on the chalkboard" type of twangs of my ten year old fingers strumming across the strings of my Christmas present that year. Just like the first time I tried it, not much had changed. I knew for certain, I was no natural, but, in time I would learn. I began to practice more and more each day, learning new chords which were demonstrated on a poster found in my studio. I heard the chords come together, finally starting to sound a little like music, practicing every night as my fingertips ached while callouses were starting to form.

I had learned; I learned the chords, the scales, and how to put them together. I was becoming better at it. I began to express myself through my guitar. Writing songs; lyrics, chords, meaning. I was finally starting to understand what all this fuss was about. It was definitely starting to grow on my. I was able to turn to my guitar and music for comfort. I could play my guitar in times of struggle, insecurity, and happiness. My guitar was the ultimate way to express myself.

I feel it; I feel the freedom, the euphoria, the passion, when playing my guitar. I can't help but feel infinite while I strum the strings of my guitar. I feel the stubborn callouses on my fingertips, the chips in the wood of my guitar, the strings as they drag across my nail beds. I feel the guitar is my getaway, music is my getaway.

Music has defined me in a way. It is a part of who I am. I see the opportunity and blessings I have in my life, I see the notebook full of lyrics on my dresser, the tracks I finally got the courage to record. I hear the soundtrack that makes up my life, the songs that play n my head throughout the day, the chords as I strum my guitar. I have learned that life is short, take up opportunities while you can, it's okay to show some emotion, show that you care, express yourself. I feel the impact music has made on my life, that one decision, like one off note, can make all the difference, that I want the soundtrack of my life to be made by me, no one else."

Toyota Accident

Our son, Kyle, had an accident this year in March. He was coming home from a friend's place in the country, when an oncoming vehicle, who was possibly drunk or sleepy came in and out of Kyle's lane. To avoid the vehicle Kyle had slowed down and then swirved, but got his wheels caught on the edge of the payment, you know where the road drops down to meet the dirt. He lost control of his truck causing him to roll it 2 or 3 times finally landing on the passenger side. He was able to crawl out of his front window, which had come out, and walk away. He called a friend to take him home.

He came into our bedroom to tell us what happened. He was nervous and freaked out. Nervous cause his truck that we helped him get was probably totaled and freaked out that he wasn't hurt or killed. He gently tapped me on the shoulder as he was kneeling down next to our bed, like he did when he was little. I was shocked and gave him a little hit in the arm and said "Shhh, don't wake your dad." Such a strange thing to do but, of course, I didn't know the reason. I assumed it was girlfriend issues.

So, we did wake him and made sure Kyle was ok, sat up and talked awhile to make sure he didn't have any injuries. It seems careless now that we didn't rush him to the ER, but the boy was not visible injured AT ALL! We hardly believed it happened.

Kyle's friend was planning on riding home with him, but at the last minute decided to stay later. If he would've been in the truck...... well, you can imagine. As parents, the possiblity of involving someone elses child is just so painful to think about.

I never went to see the truck, our neighbor has a towing service and he took care of the tow in the morning and I called the insurance. The other driver never stopped, and so we had nothing more to deal with. This photo was only found today on another computer. It's a little difficult to see, but the roof is smashed in at least 3-5 inches. Kyle is a big kid and sits pretty tall in this truck, and we're just seeing the hand of God got him through this.

Kyle's been a very active dirt biker since he was 4, so we've seen alot of injuries and Dr visits, but this one hits hard. Oh, yes, his seatbelt was on. Toyota makes good stuff.... but the truck was 'totaled'

Our Neighborhood

The following is a story from our Local Newspaper. This young man is just 2 streets behind us, and he's an inspriation to us all. It doesn't matter what the weather is, you'll see Daniel walking and waving to everyone as he does his daily walk. The story doesn't mention, but he tries very hard to remember everyone's name and he likes to collect business cards. He's a sweet young man, and I hope you take a moment to share in his short story.


Turning lemons into lemonadeDaniel Coakley quenches the thirst and lifts the spirits of those in his Hanford neighborhood
By Heather Halseyhhalsey@HanfordSentinel.com
If life hands you lemons -- make lemonade, like Daniel Coakley has done for the last five summers.After he found out that his father, Joe, had a lemonade stand when he was a boy, Daniel started his own in 2005 and has been peddling lemonade and conversation ever since."It's fun," Daniel said. "I get to see my old friends."
The gregarious 20-year-old with Down syndrome sets up shop from Monday through Saturday at 3 p.m. on Easy Street in Hanford where he has no qualms about waving to a passing car or chatting up a neighbor or two.Liz Cleveland lives across the street from Daniel and routinely pops over for a quick chat and a cup of the sweet lemony drink that he makes from a powdered mix."We have a big jar of change that we keep for my grandkids when they come because they always want to come over here to Daniel's," Cleveland said.Just like any other shrewd businessman, Daniel has business cards to promote the stand that he made on a computer with the help of one of his seven siblings.He also keeps detailed records of his customer demographics and transactions, which show that last year he sold 43 cups of lemonade from May 27 to Oct. 29.While he runs the booth he frequently calls friends and acquaintances he's met at St. Brigid's Catholic Church to invite them over for some lemonade.He sells a large cup for 50 cents and charges 25 cents for a small or refills.The money he collects are mainly dimes and quarters, which he adds to a jar that electronically tallies the coins for him.On July 15 it was filled to the brim with coins, and the digital screen said he had $72.79, which Daniel said he probably won't spend on anything at all."He would do this for free just for the people that he meets," Joe Coakley said about his son.He said that Daniel gives a lot of his profits to church and to homeless people that he passes on the street when he makes his weekly treks to Blockbuster and back."At least half the people in town know him because he waves to everyone that passes," Joe Coakley said.It's evident that Daniel's business sense and wit never cease to amaze his father, who was surprised when he saw that his son had even dug up an old photograph of him when he was 8 years old serving lemonade in Mariposa.The Coakleys moved from Mariposa to Hanford in 1985 so that Joe could teach special education to students at Shelly Baird School while Daniel's mother, Kathy, home-schooled their eight children.When Daniel isn't sitting behind his lemonade stand he is often canvassing his neighborhood, knocking on doors to collect money for specific charities like he did last winter when he collected money for the Walk for Life in San Francisco."It's fun I got to see different cultures," Daniel said of the people he met while going door to door.Fundraising for charities is one way he works to accomplish his biggest goals, many of which are all listed in a notebook he keeps titled, "Daniel's Dream History."Of course one of the dreams he lists is to sell lemonade but he has more lofty goals, including creating homes for the homeless."I'd like to save my community," Daniel said.For now Daniel is spreading hope one cup at a time from 3 to 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday, before he closes up shop and heads inside to eat dinner and watch two of his favorite TV shows -- "Jeopardy" and "Wheel of Fortune."

Connection

Today I realized a couple things as I was eating dinner with my 17 year old daughter. We were both thumbing through our fashion magazines, she her new "Seventeen" magazine, and I, my new Chadwick's catalog.
She was suggesting some cute stuff that I would like, and I suggested a few things out of her mag. What I realized is: We know each other really well. I agreed with her choices, and she with mine. WOW! This connection isn't very common in the teen years. Well, at least, we're told it's not, but it's something as parents we strive for. And when the moment hits, you don't want to make a big deal out of it, just let it happen. Too much excitement and you've scared them off, and then we're weird, again.
Of course, we were both just dreaming, because we're not big shoppers, but we do like to browse the mags and catalogs, and love to watch the Makeover, and 'What Not to Wear" shows. I can look through the same catalog over and over, and pretend I'll buy this dress for some special occasion, or that outfit if I worked at the bank..... I guess it's never too late to play pretend, at least I hope not. But for now, I just cherish those little moments.

Fallen Pine

We have sweet older lady, recently widowed, in the house behind ours.

She had always worried about the effect that her large Pine tree might

someday have on our fence and studio, if it were to fall.

Well, it did Thursday. I was having my morning coffee on the back patio, and noticed how close the pine tree appeared. A little too close..... yikes! It fell on our studio. I investigated, but not too close, for fear that it wasn't done breaking.

I took a few pictures, because my sister, the Insurance lady, has taught me well, while Danny took a walk around to tell the owner.

She was very sorry and will have someone out in the morning.

Our studio is behind another fenced area. We did that orginally for clients and privacy.

Here I'm trying to show the very large limb that is broken.

So, 2 days later, it's still lying there. It's putting alot of pressure on our studio and storage area cover. We hope it's not doing any more damage.....

You know, it's crazy, just when you think the Lord has challenged you with all you can handle He hands you a little more. Scripture tells us to be grateful for all these struggles, as they will make us closer to Him and stronger from it.
Watch out Arnie, Superman and Hercules..... cuz, here we come!

Father's Day Fun

We made a quick fun-filled trip to Shaver this weekend.

Danny's sister has a beautful vacation home in

Appleridge Meadow just before Shaver.

We took a ride with the cousins to Bald Mountain.

From there you can view Shaver lake, and the surrounding valley.

It was a rough ride up to it, but well worth it.

We didn't want to go back down.

The view from Kyle's truck, Danny's was on his KTM in between us,

but not for long, he mostly went off the trail to blaze his own track.

In fact, so much that he lost us for about an hour.

Not to worry, he had fun searching us out.

An Old lookout for forest fires. National landmark.

We went to the top, but it's not recommended.
Great view from up there.

Me, Brent, Danielle & Jared.

View of Shaver Lake from on top of Bald Mountain.

In the Studio apartment..... nice!

Back at the house, it's all about great food, drinks and RockBand!!!

They have a studio for the teens and guests above their garage (sleeps 10-12),

so the kids have their own hangout.

Happy Father's Day

A Prayer, by Antonie Vander Baan

This is the prayer that Shelley's grandpa wrote and recited at her memorial. It's been requested by many, so I thought I'd post it for you. He's an elderly man with a thick Dutch accent, so keep that in mind when you read it. Tony has done this for the girls on every special occasion.

A Prayer

Dear Father, You know we are so down and so sad,

Thank you for all the years that Shelley had.

We cry and our hears feel so torn,

We know you loved her as soon as she was born.

Why did you take her, she was not that old?

Thanks for your hands which we can still hold.

She was so full of life and so much fun,

Thank you for all the times she was able to run.

When she was little, she played like a boy,

Thank you for her sunny smile, she was such a joy.

She was a great daughter, mother and sister, too.

Thank you for all she was willing and able to do.

Oh how she loved sports, like playing ball.

Did we really give enough thanks for it all?

Before her lung transplant, You decided, not yet,

Thank you for the four more years she did get.

But now we are sad and only can weep,

While we know she is in your arms forever to keep.

Dear Father, give us the comfort only you can give,

So we will be able to start each day and live.

We will miss her so, we are left with an empty space.

Help us to fill it with memories, and your wonderful grace.

It is in Jesus' name that we pray.

Amen

Good Grief

Within the past 2 months we've lost 2 family members. First Danny's brother-in-law past away from Leukemia, and recently my niece passed away from Cystic Fibrosis.
The ceremonies were in some way similar as the service was as close to celebratory as possible. With the slide shows chronicling their lives and loved ones, and the gathering of family and friends with memories and stories for those mourning to enjoy.
I chose the title "Good Grief" because I 'accidentally' purchased a book titled that, and as I read it last summer I thought 'someday this will be good for someone who is hurting from a loss.' I never thought those people would be a part of our family. I have yet to give it my sister in law, but there's that ever-difficult question that we ask ourselves...."Is it appropriate?" And that's basically the idea of this book.
I don't know about you, but I wonder and ask myself what is appropriate.... should I visit or call right away or give them time? Is it ok to share a laugh with someone at a memorial? What do you say when someone says to you "sorry for your loss?" do you respond with 'thanks?' When do you disperse of some one's belongings after they're gone?
Difficult questions that no one wants to talk about. We can't avoid any of the uncomfortable stages of it, like Shelley's pastor said, "we're all going to die." what makes us think anything different. We just need to know we're ready.
The book Good Grief was about a young newly married woman who's husband gets ill and dies. She is faced with her mother-in-law pressuring her on what to do with her life, she is faced with all the 'looks' of pity that she's now getting, and she doesn't know how to handle of it appropriately...what's grief-etiquette? Maybe even writing this in a blog is totally inappropriate! I don't know, and why do we care? We must all feel this way. And if you knew Shelley, she was always concerned about what other's thought.
Like my other fellow bloggers have written, after certain memorials they make you want to hug your husband, your kids, and be a better person. I read through Shelley's Bible passages several times when I got home, she makes we want to a better Christian. I want to see His face someday, too.
Shelley's daughter, Kylie's friend wrote a beautiful song, that we will record for her. I hope to meet the challenge and post if for you all to hear. She's only 13 (guessing) and she handled herself with such poise and sang from her heart. Now that WAS appropriate.

In Loving Memory

Our family lost a wonderful young lady this past week. My niece, Shelley, was in her 30's. She had a heart of gold and the smile that I'll visualize forever. She and her other 2 sisters have CF. Shelley had a lung transplant 4 years ago, and went on to work, raise her daughter, enjoy her family and friends, even visit the gym. What a trooper.

This February Shelley started to have difficulty breathing and feared the worse. Not only was she rejecting her lungs but soon found she had a terrible infection. The family all gathered around to help her through, but in the end her body couldn't hold on. She no longer belongs to us, she's in the Lord's hands.

Our family has seen many miracles with these girls, and we enjoyed their beautiful souls for many years longer than we ever thought possible. Shelley will greatly be missed.

I've been around Shelley since was a baby and her family lived with us for a short while, I guess I feel like she was my little sister. So daily I think, if I hurt this bad, imagine how her mother, her daughter, her mother, her father, her sisters feel.... and then of course, I cry even more. I know she's in much better care now, and that has got to be our comfort.

Shelley has left behind a trail of wonderful memories and has touched everyone she met in a positive way.

Happy Anniversary

We've been married 23 years! Wow, it's hard to believe now quickly the time goes. We met when I was 18 and he was 23, dated for 5 years.... so technically been together for.... (let me get out the caculator) 28 years.... yikes.

He was finishing up some work at the shop Sat. and came home mid-day. We went to the patio to catch up on our newest adventures, a little business, but not too much. Then before we knew it the wine came out and we stayed on the patio til dark.... It was actually better than we could have planned. I popped in a pizza for dinner, had some gooey cake in the freezer for our dessert and drank more wine. Happy Anniversary to us :)

Jim & Rena Celebrate 25 years

I took some time to catch up on my family and friends by viewing their blogs. I miss out on so much these days. Last month my sister and her hubby celebrated their 25th Anniversary in their daughter's beautiful backyard. They have 6 kids combined and the night was a true testimonial and honor to their hard work and commitment to raising their children. They did a silly Brady Bunch skit that will truly gone down as a classic. Their son in law, Kevin played Jim, and daughter in law, Michelle played Rena's role as the happy little worker bee. It was spot-on and so fun. Jeff's wife Hannah took some amazing photos and captured the evening's events. Check out the slide show link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/35390530@N06/sets/72157616859272925/show/

Now to this month: yesterday was such a beautiful day, a few of us kids went to celebrate Mother's Day with mom at her 'home' She enjoys the company, but never gets too excited about much. I think, sometimes, it's the best way for us kids to get together. Charlie's kids were there and were a joy for me to be around, since I don't see them much. Cute little blondies! We ended up sitting outside until they were done cleaning up, but we always were the last to leave a party.....why not!!?

this past week....

Last weekend we went to the Crab Feed with friends. We had a couple tables of friends surrounding us, so we all get to catch up on eachothers lives. It was humbling to hear some of the events that we missed.

Valentine's day was different this year. We've been suffering a cold this week, and pushing myself to go to work all week, was just about all I could handle, so this weekend I tried to rest up.

I spent some of the day with Danielle, she and her (single) friends, planned a 'formal' evening together. So, we made dessert and goodie bags for her to take. It was fun to do the things we used to do when she was little. This is Danielle with Bridgette, who is hosting this dinner :)

We made a little discovery this past week. We have a recording studio, and Danny has taught the kids how to use all the equipment. So, they go in & record themselves, but mostly it's Kyle that does his country spin or Rap (yuck), but this time it was Danielle and her friend. They recorded themselves singing, with Danielle playing guitar. Now coming from a talent, such as Danny, we're not surprised that she can sing, but she was awesome. She just never lets us hear her. She's not too comfortable with it. But, we hope, someday, she'll break out of that shell and share her God-given gift.

New Job

Yes, I started back to work...our bookkeeper asked me to 'pitch' in during Tax Season. So, I've been working for her this week. She is mobile during the rest of the year, but during tax season she is at her desk pretty much from 9am to sometimes midnight. It's a very busy office, with clients that are use to being spoiled and getting their money asap. So, it's been crazy. We work in a cute little house in the middle of town, and their are 2 other 'seasoned' tax preparers in the office, they have yet to see clients, but I was told it will get even crazier....
The biggest concern about going to work is how to get the household stuff down.... so far, so good. I have been able to get up on time, get in my workout, walk the dogs, and figure something out for dinner. I do manage to come at lunch, also, and get some laundry started. Danielle has been trying to help, but the boys....well they're not much help. spoiled :(

The boys are surviving at the shop without me, somehow :) but i do get my share of text messages and phonce calls through out the day. It's going well, though.

Last night I took Danielle to Alicia's, my niece, to get her hair lightened. She and Joseph have two little ones, so it was entertaining while she processed. They are such cute and happy kids. Danielle loves her hair. They have another baby due soon, so she's not going to be able to do hair for awhile. Too bad, she's not only good, but she's fast....

Last weekend was my birthday.... I must be getting older, very few cards this year. Danny and I went up to the 'Gateway' for an early dinner. We were tempted to spend the night, but I started my job the next morning..... not good timing. It was nice to get away and talk about something other than work and kids.....
take care to all....

Snowboarding F U N

I wanted to share Danielle's photos from her 3 trips to Sierra Summt.

She and her friends, Bridgette and Chandler, had 3 really great days.

Don't they look serious?

New Years Eve was special, they participated in the Torch Parade and Night Skiing.

This is them waiting on the top. Chandler found her uncle's old-school jacket.... the girls thought it was hilarous.

Hey, I remember those colors... anyone else?

take care....stay warm.......